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"Meditation allows me to regain my strength.

Sleep forces me to face the overpowering darkness within."



He fell into dreams with nothing but his love for her in his heart. Alas he awoke the beast with only hatred surging through his hands. Dawn broke that morning with the scream and death of the only woman that could save his soul.

He drowned his hands in her blood, and didn't even know he did it. The Magic’s his bloodline bestowed upon him had a price for their use. Sanity and Soul are sacrificed for the use of magic’s buried deep in the past.



Tearing Skin and cloth together he cries out and mourns.

"My family left me this curse and ran cowards, they shall pay with their own blood for hers" One last spell, he recites. "This soul is yours now love. When my last mortal breath leaves my body you shall be born anew." Placing her where no decay, no harm, no mortal shall interfere with her perfect body, he leaves for a destination he had forsaken years earlier.

Something's changing within him. His smell, sight and hearing become more heightened as the moon rises. A primal nature boiling within his mind and soul; Training himself in peace he finds it almost intolerable to solve anything without use of force and aggression. Training his body for hours waking from a savage trance seeing his equipment destroyed he does what he can to calm himself. His mind in emptiness, a lonesome grey place, familiar with the purgatory his heart seemed to be in. Not quite heaven, nor hell alone always reflecting on his actions.



He lightly whispers to the air as though it was listening and watching "I am cursed, and blessed with being. I am of Angel; I am of Demon, of Man, and Beast. I have faced all of my trials except beast it is clear I will become beast for how long I don't know but, I will overcome and accept everything unto what I am. I will save the one I could not save before!"



Slowly he collapses; it seems that was all his self control to just utter simple words. Slipping into a world he has not been to since the murder of his brother he seems almost happy, at peace...peace of mind. An old riddle he once remembered "What does a peasant have that a King can never buy?" the answer "Peace of mind." Though he was no king, nor did he want to be he could never seem to reach that brass ring except in his deepest dreams.



He'll dream until he wants to wake up, the want is something he isn't sure of he must reflect upon himself and the beast will walk unchecked. Nameless and wandering a place few can escape from he searches for that which was stripped from him an identity that is his and was never fashioned for him. For the ones he loves and the ones he protects may his grandfathers’ spirit grant him the grace and favor to find it soon before the beast becomes him.

Pacing in front of me this of my three shadows speaks to me. "Come now did you really think you'd live with peace of mind?" Let me be, let me live like I did once before at least I could drug the pain away! "Oh don't you remember your promise? To never give up you promised that to one love didn't you?" And I won't give up, but right now I need a stay, a reprieve something anything just slow the thoughts!!! "For someone who's as powerful as you are you sure grovel like a pathetic mortal."

"Leave me be, I’ll call on you again" I say in a sad and most sorrowful tone. The shadow slowly turns away from me and speaks. "You could always take your life you know? I'm sure your older brother would love to have you at his side." Anger rose far quicker than even he had ever thought possible as the words seemed to injure him far greater than anything. "LEAVE NOW!!! NEVER RETURN!!!"



Sitting in darkness my own breathing sounding in my ears as I realized how alone I am. Exiled from my own family, living in a cold selfish world where the word 'Humane' has long lost any meaning. Greed and those who do not falter in the merciless way they use their power leave me at a want to let this world die. Let them call for a savior while their blood is spilled only to fall on deaf ears. Is there no place one may go where kind and good intentioned people reign? Perhaps I'll create one.

"I wont' use it, stop telling me to,

I'd rather kill myself than kill another again."



Abused and broken rising to his feet, he dusts himself off and heads for home. Bracing for the yelling, and yet another beating the peace loving child will have to think of more excuses for the bruises when he sees her.

"You have a hole in your shirt damn it! Why don't you show some backbone and fight back?" "Because, I'm not like you, I don't have delusions that I’m better than them. That and I don't want to use this fucking Curse you gave to me." As he was thrust across the room with only the low mumble of his fathers voice, or what was left of his father, he uttered his own counter spell halting his movement.



But in uttering those words he unlocked the darkest part of him. The evil that consumes his subconscious. With a wave of his hand his father is flung across the room like a doll discarded by a bored child. His Brother attempts to chant a spell to calm what they call 'Mortalitas Animus' But their efforts are in vain for in his present state he is unstoppable, a creature only meant to destroy with pure hatred his lifeblood. Soon he regains control far sooner than the other times it had come out. Was he gaining control of his curse, or was his body simply unable to take the infinite levels of testosterone and magics surging through his body because of the beating he had taken earlier that day?



Hours later when he is done taking the beating, that his father loves so to give his eldest son, he sits the boy down to talk. "You must except you are not a normal mortal, that you have been bestowed the greatest gift our bloodline has to offer." Wounded and in pain, he only gives this meek reply. "I want to be normal. All i want is to be human, not to hurt humans, not to be better than them, and to be able to love her. It is a curse to me father." The anger slowly rising in his fathers eyes, the boy can only look down and brace for the blow that felt like it shattered the boys jaw. "I will not hear any more talk of this mortal whench you claim to love! Go to bed, and clean up before you do, start using the gift you were given or kill yourself and give up your power to your brother."



Walking slowly, oh so painfully up the stairs he walks by the bathroom straight to his room. He doesn't want to see the bruises again. He just wants to sleep, and dream of her. But he can't, his nightmares grow stronger, and the grasp the beast has on his mind has only tightened and become a rigid chokehold on his mind. "You will use it, you will call on me when you need me. I am your only salvation, kill them and I will set you free my child." "Never!! I won't use you! I won't use it, stop telling me to, i'd rather die than kill again." Cold sweat down his brows, the beasts voice is sterner, more demanding, and so much closer. "I must find a way to stop it, or at least subdue it." Dawn is breaking, he sits on the edge of his bed with his hands in his face bleeding the tears of blood he has always bled, His only salvation is her.